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Ok, so I didn’t get Hugh. And sadly, Kirsten Dunst will be staring in the upcoming production of Marie-Antoinette. However, I was able to purchase this godly little camera on Monday. And it’s completely unbelievable. Let’s compare.

Photo taken using Kodak CX6330:

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Merry almost Christmas. May all of your ugly sweaters have receipts and your new jeans stretch enough to compensate for 5,000 cookies.

Dear Santa,

Bring me Hugh Laurie. And please permanently eliminate Kirsten Dunst from all future feature presentations. Thanks.

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I’ve been wondering a lot lately about my ancestors. I’m not even talking the big picture, but the little, insignificant things. I’m curious as to which of my quirks and traits were actually passed down and not aquired, and which similarities came from which nationalities.

Was my great great great great great great Ukrainian grandmother uninclined to carry any sort handbag or pouch, and instead prefered to carry around her embroidery tools in her back pocket?

Was her husband unimpressed and rather annoyed by technological change, even though he transitioned easily to new ways whilst he complained?

Were her daughters this anxious to be married?

And what about the Italian side? Was my great great great great great great Italian grandmother a grape stomper who prefered not to wear shoes even when wine season was over?

Was her husband able to produce the best sauce known to Sicily even though he didn’t like spaghetti?

Or, in that case, is it instead possible that my Ukrainian genes are battling my Italian tendencies? I mean seriously, I was born with olive skin and black hair and somehow became pale with blue eyes. Those things don’t just happen.

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+ Buy an outfit to serve as your uniform. If female, this should consist of a shirt, a cami to wear under the shirt, a second shirt, a sweater, and jeans that look like they just spent a year in a cement truck. If male, this should consist of jeans. Boxers preferable.
+ Do not make plans for your first or second paycheck. They will pay off the uniform.
+ Wear flipflops. At all times.
+ If female, remove all eyeliner and nailpolish. If male, shave. Twice.
+ Tan. Whiten teeth.
+ Spend twice as much time memorizing jean legnths, cuts, sizes, fits, and customized destruction techniques than you did studying for your concepts of linguistics final.
+ Do not date the managers. Even if they are extremely attractive. And shirtless.
+ Fold every shirt on display at least 200 times. Refold.
+ Socialize with other workers constantly. Maintain nonchalant attitude.
+ Straighten hair.
+ If male, build muscle. If female, lose weight.

Congratulations. You are an appearance-priviledged all-American.

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This semester I pledged a sorority. I don’t know how it happened, but it did. And thanks to the stereotype brought about by shows like MTV’s “Sorority Life,” I was met with little more than “what?!” or, sometimes, “why?!” by friends who saw the letters in my profile. I have never been so completely involved in something or more satisfied with a decision. But it really is something that can only be understood by those involved.

And what’s more, I’m working at Abercrombie & Fitch (which means I’ll actually have to buy some of the clothes because, quite frankly, I can’t afford them without the discount).

Besides that, I’m back! Last semester was uncontrollable. For now I have a month of Christmas break and next semester’s writing-packed schedule to look forward to. I’m planning on attending classes through summer, with a small break in the middle during which I’ll be in Ukraine. I’ve been working on my book extensively. I finally feel like it’s going somewhere. And besides, if I do get published within the next two years, I’ll have to have my own website, right?

Media Notes
The Constant Princess, Philippa Gregory’s newest novel, published.
Pride and Prejudice released.
The Chronicles of Narnia released.
The Gauntlet II - Mondays at 10:00pm EST.

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