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You ever have one of those weeks? Those weeks where you change everything from your attitude to your hair color in an attempt to reverse your karma and have something go right?

You know, when you put in an extra 700 hours at your loathsome job, hoping to accumulate some cash, even though your bank account still seems to be moving backwards? And it’s raining and you lose your favorite necklace and you can’t sleep? So you get up to check your blog and you have zero comments and your favorite bloggers are MIA? And you get railed on at least once for something you had no part in, and you’ve been waiting a week for a life-changing letter that just wont come? And besides all that, you’re not going to be 21 for another 13 days so you can’t even go and buy yourself a drink and relax?

And that’s all on Monday?!

And of course, it’s the longest week of your life and there’s absolutely no light at the end of the tunnel because it’s still raining. Misery!

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I went out to meet Ariel Gore, China Martens, and Annie Downey at a book signing tonight, and as I expected, they kicked ass.

They are touring together on their Radical Writer Mamas tour, and were extremely interesting to listen to. I picked up How to Become a Famous Writer Before You’re Dead by Gore and The Future Generation by Martens, who was hilarious and quite possibly the coolest writer I’ve ever witnessed in person. I especially enjoyed her stories about her daughter, who as a teenager was embarrassed of her “poor, writer mom” but then “turned rad” (according to China) at age 19 and got “Made in China” tattooed on her lower back.

I’ve already read Downey’s Hot and Bothered.

I was especially impressed by Gore’s reading. Here’s a quote from the above book’s introduction:

“‘But I don’t have any time to write,’ my student says. And I don’t ask her how it is, then, that she has time to come to class. I’m glad to have her, even empty-handed. Instead, I offer some suggestions: If you don’t have time to write, stop answering the phone. Change your e-mail address. Kill your television. If you don’t have a baby, have one. If you have a baby, get a sitter. If you work too much, work more. If you don’t work enough, work less. If there’s a problem, exaggerate it. If you’re broke, go to the food bank. If you have too much money, give it away. If you’re north, go south. If you’re south, go north. If you don’t drink, start. If you drink, sober up. If you’re in school, drop out. If you’re out of school, drop in. If you believe you have a year to live, imagine you have a hundred. If you believe you have a hundred years to live, imagine you only have one. If you’re sane, go crazy. If you’re crazy, snap out of it. If you’ve got a partner, break up. If you’re single, find a lover! The shock of the new—shake yourself awake. There is only this moment, this night, this remembrance rolling toward you from the distant past, this blank page, this inspiration yielding itself to you. Will you meet it?“

She signed the book, “For Rachel, who accelerates through danger, XO, Ariel Gore,” leading me to wish I was as equally awesome.

And here’s some pictures (Gore first, then Martens) from the camera phone:

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Overheard at a fancy restaurant:

Obnoxious old woman: “My son bought me this yippy little dog, and every time I come home, the animal runs up to me and just expects me to reach down and pet it. Like I’ve got nothing better to do when I walk in.”

In a brochure for a local technical institute:

“Continue your education beyond high school! Plenty of job openings is becoming available!”

Walking Downtown:

Girl 1: “I just got a new computer.”
Girl 2: “That’s cool.”
Girl 1: “Yeah. I love Apple.”
Girl 2: “You love apple? Like, the fruit? It’s apples, retard.”
Girl 1: “I’m talking about my Mac.”
Girl 2: “Like, the makeup?”

Molly, in a 6:00am voicemail:

“I just dreamed I was the frickin’ Queen of Azerbaijan!“

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Derrick and I were browsing the local supermarket when we came upon the following, located among the boundless amounts of carbonated beverages.

His sadness intrigues me. Where did you come from, Diet Pepsi Lion?

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I recently purchased a Moleskine Info Book, which is basically a small, organized travel journal, and thought back to last summer, and how different my current situation is than it was less than a year ago.

If there’s one thing I can recommend to those in my age group, especially the focused ones, and the successful ones, and those who have plans and structure and will graduate college and have families, it would be to choose a season, and for those few months, forget everything.

If you can find an average-paying job in another state, in another country, and have the opportunity to befriend new people, completely new people, you’re set. When you get a chance to MapQuest a fun city that’s a 12-hour drive away and head there immediately, to sleep in the car with sand in your hair because the hotels at the resort beaches are much too expensive, to eat Pop-Tarts for breakfast and for lunch and for dinner, and to be glued to a camera because these are people and places that you probably won’t see again, at least for a long, long time, then you’re lucky.

I will admit that the idea of leaving the parents or bills or routine is usually completely overwhelming, but I think everyone, at least once, needs to take that chance.

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Qualities to be looked for and admired in significant others:

• The ability to cut fruit one-handed
• A family much different from one’s own
• A desire to carry all of the grocery bags to the house
• A similar desire to remove garbage bags from the house
• A willingness to be the driver when traveling
• Acceptance, or slight disregard of, excessive computer attachment
• Toleration of ridiculously awful television
• Creative ability, or at the very least, appreciation of creative ability in others
• Gratitude for the purchase of atmospheric-scent-enhancing candles
• Bonus: The capability to select a tolerable scent other than vanilla
• Selfless removal of chin stubble from sink nooks
• Abundant laughter, and the causing thereof
• Appreciation of mascara and Jon Stewart
• A mastery of denim
• Good teeth

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I abandoned video games when levels became three-dimensional and took longer than 40 seconds for me to beat. And when I no longer had the option of hatching a Yoshi.

Needless to say, it’s been well over ten years since I’ve had any sort of system in my house.

Last night, however, Derrick came home with a box containing an original and Super Nintendo, and a multitude of games. I’ve since been spending my time in Super Mario World.

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Because there’s so much more to love about Easter.

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