thatnight.net

The better life, part one

A couple weeks ago, I started drinking coffee for the first time. Strangely enough, it was right around the time I finished college, which is a good indication of why I slept through the majority of the last five years. It’s really no wonder I was so bitter that the town around me was in a constant state of drunkenness and was still able to make it to 8AM Lit Theory.

My grandfather drank it black, and nearly every Sunday, as I walked across the church basement with the little styrofoam cup, I would try a sip and regret it immediately. The other 12-year-olds were throwing it back like chocolate milk, like they did with the concoction of grape juice and Christ’s blood we were given an hour before, and I never understood how they could stomach either.

The reason I’m talking about coffee is because the day I had my first real cup of it was the morning after I had stayed at a birthday party until 3AM and needed to drive to Maryland an hour later. I had told a friend that if I ever needed a caffeine kick, I would chug Mountain Dew, as coffee had never really “worked for me.” That was my excuse. And he said, in some words, “Look idiot, the crap in the Mountain Dew that’s keeping you awake is the same crap in coffee,” and suddenly, it was like an abundance of knowledge was raining down on the world!

And that is my roundabout way of saying that I’m now more motivated to write than I’ve ever been, since I’m not anticipating having to pause between sentences to take a nap. I just need to become accustomed to washing away morning breath with a bottle of scotch and I’ll really be able to call myself a writer.

The subject of this post is one I’m breaking up into two or three parts, and the one thing I’ve always had to tread lightly with despite its huge impact on my life. I’ve vaguely referred to the situation before, glossing over my more gloomy posts and attributing them to “the ex-boyfriend who took his own life,” and then leaving it at that.

It’s a tricky thing to talk about. On one hand, I can attempt to be tongue-in-cheek about the situation (”the situation” being a more cautious way of saying, “my life”), but I’m not sure I have that license. If the depression were something I was going through, and not watching from the outside, I could see how it would be acceptable for me to harness those emotions and express them in any way I felt appropriate. However, there are aspects and perceptions that I had no part in, and therefore, it’s important that I keep the story limited to how I was affected, no matter how deeply, and not my speculations.

And there I go being vague again. Suffice it to say that this isn’t something I’ve brought up before with many friends, and the ones I have entrusted with it have reacted in such a way that was so insensitive I was driven to further hide any scraps of grief or helplessness that were constantly eating away at me.

So even though I’ve occasionally posted small pieces of this story, I’m finding that it’s necessary to start from the beginning. Because there is a story to be told.

Here, let me be as disturbing as possible

It’s been a couple months since I last experienced a debilitating nightmare, so when I woke up at 3AM last night feeling as if all the blood had been drained from my body, I looked up at my TV and, sure enough, it was performing some sort of system upgrade, replacing whatever I had fallen asleep to with a soundless blue screen.

I’ve had an issue with nightmares for as long as I can remember, and distinctly recall my mother mentioning it to my pediatrician when I was little after I’d been having trouble sleeping because I couldn’t stop hearing marching. And when the doctor asked me about it, I was about as descriptive as a no-more-than-6-year-old could be. I hear marching. It sounds like marching, and people marching. Like how people sound when they march.

I’ve mentioned before how I have trouble sleeping without the TV on, but really, any change in the atmosphere of my bedroom can trigger it. There have been nights when I’ve slept in the same room as other people, and for whatever reason, one of them has gotten up to move in the middle of the night, and no matter how deeply I’m sleeping — HEIGH-HO HORROR! This particular situation causes the most disturbing episodes, as I’m convinced that my eyes are fully open, that I can clearly see and comprehend the room around me, but I’m not awake and cannot make myself become awake and am completely trapped in that state for a good amount of time until, after several tries, I can pull my mind into consciousness.

…and I just killed my chances of anyone inviting me to a slumber party ever. Yeah, so, if you need to pee in the middle of the night, and you come back and I’m not moving but my eyes are wide-open and I look as if I’m pleading to be released from the terror that is my own subconscious, feel free to sleep with your back towards me. Or just hold it. Either one.

It did come in handy when I worked as a camp counselor one summer and had to stay in a cabin with ten 16-year-old girls. I could wake up in the morning and be all, listen ladies, I dreamt that a clown was hovering above my bunk last night and I almost vomited I was so disturbed and as soon as I find out which one of you left at 2AM to make out with one of the boys in Cabin 14 you’re bringing me breakfast for the next three weeks. And they’d be all, HOW DOES SHE DO IT?

I’m at the point now where I can wake up and say, “Well crap, the goes another one of those gruesome dreams,” rather than, “THERE ARE MIND-DEMONS MARRING MY WORLD HELP,” but I think it’s safe to assume that my future husband will eventually want his own bed.