Thursday November 15, 2007 at 11:41 pm
Elementary school exercises applied to my life today
1. Rachel made this graph to show the number of hours that she worked for four weeks.
If Rachel earned $6 an hour, will she be able to afford groceries?
A. If she eats Wendy’s for two meals a day.
B. If her mother cooks for her on weekends.
C. If she hoards them and does not share.
D. No.
2. Which drawing best represents a figure that can be used to spear a loud, guitar-playing teenage neighbor?
A. 
B. 
C. 
D. 
3. True or False: My college expectations at my high school graduation.
4. Look at the clocks.
There is a comprehensive final exam at 6pm. How much time has Rachel just spent watching The Office?
A. 30 minutes
B. 2 hours 30 minutes
C. 3 hours
D. 3 hours 30 minutes
5. Rachel drove to town. She drove 20 miles to the gas station from her house. Then she drove to the grocery store and that was 4 miles from the gas station. Next she drove back home. At what point did her car battery die?
6. Cause and Effect Relationships
Rachel, ______ high expectations of her date, will punch him in the teeth if he does not hang up his cell phone in five seconds.
A. has
B. who he has
C. who has
D. have had
7. Vocabulary
The scarecrow in the backyard is inanimate. What are the chances it will kill Rachel?
A. 0%
B. 10%
C. 50% if the moon is full
D. I don’t care, I’m scared
8. Identify the wild animal.
A. 
B. 
C. 
D. 
1. Rachel made this graph to show the number of hours that she worked for four weeks.
If Rachel earned $6 an hour, will she be able to afford groceries?
A. If she eats Wendy’s for two meals a day.
B. If her mother cooks for her on weekends.
C. If she hoards them and does not share.
D. No.
2. Which drawing best represents a figure that can be used to spear a loud, guitar-playing teenage neighbor?
A. B. C. D.
3. True or False: My college expectations at my high school graduation.
4. Look at the clocks.
There is a comprehensive final exam at 6pm. How much time has Rachel just spent watching The Office?
A. 30 minutes
B. 2 hours 30 minutes
C. 3 hours
D. 3 hours 30 minutes
5. Rachel drove to town. She drove 20 miles to the gas station from her house. Then she drove to the grocery store and that was 4 miles from the gas station. Next she drove back home. At what point did her car battery die?
6. Cause and Effect Relationships
Rachel, ______ high expectations of her date, will punch him in the teeth if he does not hang up his cell phone in five seconds.
A. has
B. who he has
C. who has
D. have had
7. Vocabulary
The scarecrow in the backyard is inanimate. What are the chances it will kill Rachel?
A. 0%
B. 10%
C. 50% if the moon is full
D. I don’t care, I’m scared
8. Identify the wild animal.
A. B.
C. D.
Hah! This is some of your best work yet.
#7 is awesome. #8 is scary. Kirsten Dunst has fangs and will kill all three of those animals.
I think that I love all of these.
And also that you’re awesome.
Truly creative. Why don’t I think of things like this?
Oh honey. Fabulous writing, and yet I hope things turn up soon.
Hilarious and a little scary.
# 3 is my favorite. i have an exam in less than twelve hours and i cant sleep. god help me!
Watching the office is way more important than an exam…I probably shouldn’t tell my students that, though.
8. C is the one I’d be most likely to run away from in a dark alley…
You win at blogging :D
This is awesome.
Glad to see you’re keeping up on it. I totally lost on Day 9! Embarrassing. I hope you’re able to finish.
#6 was my favorite. I want to know how you are managing to post everyday and not only make sense but be brilliant and entertaining. You must share your great blogging secrets with this lowly grasshopper. :)
Thanks for all the kind words. :)
I think I just have a lot of time on my hands…
On #2, I would use C to bludgeon your neighbor to death. Far slower and more painful that a mere spearing.
Oh, and this post just even far more awesome in my eyes.
K.
You know on #2, when you want to hurt the guitar playing neighbor? When I become a guitar prodigy, I will never play that loud. I plan on being a very considerate guitar prodigy. Until that time, I would go with B.
this made me laugh – thanks!
This made me LoL. #2 relates to how I feel right now… I think my neighbor plays bass tho… It carries so well through our paper thin walls. Also, I survived on Ramen Noodles, $1 microwave pizzas and Multi Vitamins when groceries became scarce. I have some cheap recipes if you want them. :P
I LOVE THIS! hahaha So glad to have found your site :)
(q) all of the above.
You are great:) Hope tomorrow will be a better day.
Regarding your date – was it a left hook or a good solid right? And how many teeth went down his throat?
Yes, this was awesome!
you know what works with shitty neighbors?
Throwing trash outside their door anonymously. Just a little bit of trash is enough to make even the most self-absorbed person nervous.
lol! brilliant post. 7. Is just plain hilarious to me. I’d be running scared specially if it looks anything like 8C :d
oh dear, hahahahha.
This was very clever and very funny. Many years ago I once watched the first episode of The Office and thought it was a documentary – ooops! It did seem as if everyone were a bit weird but well, UK offices are like that.
Good luck with your college work.
Hahaha, have you seen this yet? It reminds me of this post … http://www.jamphat.com/rap/
Yes, Ashley! I del.icio.us’ed that last week! Thought it was hilarious!
Rachel, this has to be one of my favorite blog posts that I’ve read. Thank you for using your powers of wit for good rather than evil! ;)
Dawn