Thursday July 23, 2009 at 9:48 pm
Here, let me be as disturbing as possible
It’s been a couple months since I last experienced a debilitating nightmare, so when I woke up at 3AM last night feeling as if all the blood had been drained from my body, I looked up at my TV and, sure enough, it was performing some sort of system upgrade, replacing whatever I had fallen asleep to with a soundless blue screen.
I’ve had an issue with nightmares for as long as I can remember, and distinctly recall my mother mentioning it to my pediatrician when I was little after I’d been having trouble sleeping because I couldn’t stop hearing marching. And when the doctor asked me about it, I was about as descriptive as a no-more-than-6-year-old could be. I hear marching. It sounds like marching, and people marching. Like how people sound when they march.
I’ve mentioned before how I have trouble sleeping without the TV on, but really, any change in the atmosphere of my bedroom can trigger it. There have been nights when I’ve slept in the same room as other people, and for whatever reason, one of them has gotten up to move in the middle of the night, and no matter how deeply I’m sleeping — HEIGH-HO HORROR! This particular situation causes the most disturbing episodes, as I’m convinced that my eyes are fully open, that I can clearly see and comprehend the room around me, but I’m not awake and cannot make myself become awake and am completely trapped in that state for a good amount of time until, after several tries, I can pull my mind into consciousness.
…and I just killed my chances of anyone inviting me to a slumber party ever. Yeah, so, if you need to pee in the middle of the night, and you come back and I’m not moving but my eyes are wide-open and I look as if I’m pleading to be released from the terror that is my own subconscious, feel free to sleep with your back towards me. Or just hold it. Either one.
It did come in handy when I worked as a camp counselor one summer and had to stay in a cabin with ten 16-year-old girls. I could wake up in the morning and be all, listen ladies, I dreamt that a clown was hovering above my bunk last night and I almost vomited I was so disturbed and as soon as I find out which one of you left at 2AM to make out with one of the boys in Cabin 14 you’re bringing me breakfast for the next three weeks. And they’d be all, HOW DOES SHE DO IT?
I’m at the point now where I can wake up and say, “Well crap, the goes another one of those gruesome dreams,” rather than, “THERE ARE MIND-DEMONS MARRING MY WORLD HELP,” but I think it’s safe to assume that my future husband will eventually want his own bed.
It’s been a couple months since I last experienced a debilitating nightmare, so when I woke up at 3AM last night feeling as if all the blood had been drained from my body, I looked up at my TV and, sure enough, it was performing some sort of system upgrade, replacing whatever I had fallen asleep to with a soundless blue screen.
I’ve had an issue with nightmares for as long as I can remember, and distinctly recall my mother mentioning it to my pediatrician when I was little after I’d been having trouble sleeping because I couldn’t stop hearing marching. And when the doctor asked me about it, I was about as descriptive as a no-more-than-6-year-old could be. I hear marching. It sounds like marching, and people marching. Like how people sound when they march.
I’ve mentioned before how I have trouble sleeping without the TV on, but really, any change in the atmosphere of my bedroom can trigger it. There have been nights when I’ve slept in the same room as other people, and for whatever reason, one of them has gotten up to move in the middle of the night, and no matter how deeply I’m sleeping — HEIGH-HO HORROR! This particular situation causes the most disturbing episodes, as I’m convinced that my eyes are fully open, that I can clearly see and comprehend the room around me, but I’m not awake and cannot make myself become awake and am completely trapped in that state for a good amount of time until, after several tries, I can pull my mind into consciousness.
…and I just killed my chances of anyone inviting me to a slumber party ever. Yeah, so, if you need to pee in the middle of the night, and you come back and I’m not moving but my eyes are wide-open and I look as if I’m pleading to be released from the terror that is my own subconscious, feel free to sleep with your back towards me. Or just hold it. Either one.
It did come in handy when I worked as a camp counselor one summer and had to stay in a cabin with ten 16-year-old girls. I could wake up in the morning and be all, listen ladies, I dreamt that a clown was hovering above my bunk last night and I almost vomited I was so disturbed and as soon as I find out which one of you left at 2AM to make out with one of the boys in Cabin 14 you’re bringing me breakfast for the next three weeks. And they’d be all, HOW DOES SHE DO IT?
I’m at the point now where I can wake up and say, “Well crap, the goes another one of those gruesome dreams,” rather than, “THERE ARE MIND-DEMONS MARRING MY WORLD HELP,” but I think it’s safe to assume that my future husband will eventually want his own bed.
I think you have superpowers. A little annoying in that it freaks you out, but superpowers nonetheless.
I tend to have lucid dreams, and in those dreams, when I realize that I’m dreaming, I get really freaked out and have to try multiple times to wake myself up.
But my eyes are definitely closed at this point.
Mind demons are still less scary than dreaming about Nickelback.
*shivers*
My mother has night terrors. She occasionally wakes up in the middle of the night, screaming bloody murder. She’s been doing it since I was little, and apparently the dreams are very mundane. Like, she’s taking me shopping, or watching me graduate or something. And yet she feels the need to let the sound of the underworld escape her mouth in the middle of the night.
To say the least, my father, who loves her very very much, needs his own bed. Not like that prevents him from being woken in abject terror from down the hall, but I guess it takes the edge off.
The dog, on the other hand, mostly ignores her, and can sleep soundly through her episodes. So much for a fearsome protector.
I, on the other hand, have the sleep of the just and the innocent. That is to say, I sleep immediately, long, and soundly, and can have entire conversations with Kevin in person or on the phone, while asleep. With my eyes open. Rumor has it it’s freaky.
I’ve had night terrors on a few occasions myself and they are not fun AT ALL!!
So, you were the camp counselor that everyone thought owned a ouija board and a crystal ball, huh? I think the screaming in the middle of the night probably helped keep them in line.
Past life memories, maybe? You might have been in some war, hence the sound of marching, and maybe you feared being killed in your sleep, hence the nighttime vigilance. I know, some people are thinking this is wacky, but it makes sense to me.
I’d like to make a respectful suggestion based on my own experience. You might find it helpful to see a psychologist kind-of-professional.
I say that because, I had a recurring negative dream for 17 years. I went and talked about it for 3 or 4 sessions, and it’s pretty much disappeared.
It might be worth the time. I think counselors have a legit expertise, and I believe in specialists. We live in a specialist’s world.
I take my car to a specialist.
I call in a specialist for my furnace.
I think it’s okay for a person to ask a specialist about something that’s bothering them.
Cheers, Vannevar.
I have nightmares too, and wouldn’t wish them on anyone because they are upsetting/day altering, but I must admit, I laughed out loud with your account of being a camp councellor!
I’ve had problems like that from time to time, particularly where I feel I’m awake and aware but can’t move. I think there’s some sort of technical term for that, but I’m too lazy to google it.
I’d recommend telling a doctor about it, who could maybe refer you to a sleep specialist of some kind. There may be ways to make it at least a bit better.
I don’t have many nightmares, but I’m constantly waking up because I feel like I’m freefalling.
Besides, I heard on a radio show that 50 percent of men under the age 50 will become habitual snorers at some point. Maybe it’s best your future husband has his own bed.
I go through phases where I never, EVER seem to dream, for months at a time… and then I’ll have a month where I can’t get through a night without waking up in a cold sweat.
Sigh.
I found that a pillow speaker tucked on the underside of my pillow and did wonders for me when I first tried it about two years ago…
It would help me drift off to sleep when I was having trouble doing so and it really cut down on my bad dreams that were causing me so much angst.
The pillow speaker was easy to get used to and it also didn’t disturb my wife with the noise. It also helped that I rigged it up to work with my satellite radio so I could at least have some creative programming.
I sometimes have the nightmare that I’m sleeping in my bed, yet aware that I’m dreaming about sleeping in my bed. That sounds strange, but it’s actually quite terrifying because everything is just slightly off-kilter and weirdly recursive.