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How dare he!
May 8, 2008
While I was watching The King of Queens a few days ago on daytime TV, a commercial came on for a bridal salon chain and I was sort of half paying attention until the end.
From what I remember, there was jaunty frolicking, lines of diverse bridesmaids in pastel green dresses, and several closeup shots of a woman in a wedding dress, throwing her head back and exposing bleach-white teeth as she twirled on a beach with her husband. And that’s where my attention grabbed hold, because the husband? He was young.
Young! I’ve been watching wedding ads on TV for well over ten years, somewhat interested, relating the brides to my teachers and bank tellers and women in town who walk in skinny heels and trench coats. And here was this man in a tuxedo, looking no older than any of my male friends, the ones who shoot pool and toss back Jägerbombs on Thursday nights.
And I thought back to eighth grade, and how even then, you see the seniors, and it’s all, wow, those older kids must really have their lives figured out. And now I see them when I drive past my high school and I’m all, asses.
So I’m wondering, am I going to look at those commercials five years from now, and see a groom that age, and be all, heh, crazy kids, getting married when they’re still practically children?
Because I am entirely, wholly, thoroughly not cool with that.
Categories: Daily
May 8th, 2008 at 1:41 pm
Yes, you will.
May 8th, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Oh…damn.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:20 pm
I live down the street from a church and think that all the time when i see them….
May 8th, 2008 at 2:34 pm
Yeah, you probably are.
Dude, do I fit into your elite group of male friends? Because I can’t tolerate jäger.
You’re 22 on Saturday, huh? Wow.
You better find a husband. You’re running out if time. :)
May 8th, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Ray, my hatred for you overwhelms.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Five years? Probably not. Ten years? I don’t think you really want to hear my answer.
May 8th, 2008 at 2:53 pm
Fine by me. You’re darling when you’re angry. :)
May 8th, 2008 at 2:59 pm
You kids. Get off my lawn.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:15 pm
Forget getting married - YOUR CLOCK IS TICKING, RACHEL.
(That’s what you’ll be hearing next.)
I say the exact same thing under my breath when I pass by high school students, too. It’s so funny how your perspective changes as time goes by - although, in my defence, I never thought seniors to be all that bright and “with it” to begin with.
May 8th, 2008 at 3:59 pm
There is a scary thin line between “in your twenties enjoying life as an independent adult” and “oh crap time to get married and reproduce!”
May 8th, 2008 at 5:02 pm
I get that feeling when I see parents, because somewhere I got this idea that they were always older than me.
May 8th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
Do not rush your life. You have the world on front of you so go get it. Really, do you think age matters - COUGARS are out there.
Happy Birthday!!!!
May 8th, 2008 at 9:00 pm
I’m getting married at the Yinz Team softball practice on Saturday. Get with the program, you almost 22-year-old!
May 8th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
Like I told you tonight, I’m going to pick up a schmuck off the because its my turn now.
May 8th, 2008 at 10:36 pm
@Emma
I’m extremely interested in how this will come about and exactly whom you’ll be marrying.
@Rachel
If this is any consolation, and I’m sure it’s not, I look at people in their early 20s and think “why are you so dumb?” even when they aren’t doing anything particularly annoying or even incorrect. Alternatively, people in their 40s call me “Jimmy” and don’t think I’m capable of booking plane reservations without supervision.
May 8th, 2008 at 11:25 pm
Jim- I was just going to pick up a nice Jewish man in Rachel’s neighborhood and bring him by practice. I was hoping you would officiate.
May 9th, 2008 at 7:49 am
Rachel– When I was 22 I was bound and determined to never get married. If figured eventually (maybe around 40) I’d buy a frozen pop so I could experience motherhood. Then when I turned 24 I met the man who two years later would be my husband. The greatest part was, I didn’t have to change at all. (Well, I had to stop getting loaded and accepting rides home from strange men, but that was really for the best.) So just keep doing what you enjoy, stay financially solvent, and get out once in a while. It’s nice to want marriage and children, but don’t get caught up in the “I should be doing this by now!” ballyhoo.
May 9th, 2008 at 9:11 am
One of my friends (with whom I just graduated!) just got engaged. Last night. Sent me a picture of the ring. I screamed, but now I’m mopey.
Sigh. And now I’m watching Ellen Degeneres and her Mother’s Day show has only very pregnant women in the audience.
SIGH.
Speaking of young looking models and pregnancy- have you ever seen models in ads/etc for maternity wear and thought “OH MY CRAP! HOW ARE YOU OLD ENOUGH TO BE KNOCKED UP!?” Because I think that a lot. And I know that they’re probably just wearing the fake belly underneath the clothes, BUT STILL.
Sigh. Damn me for giving the boy a looong time line and then being surprised when he sticks to it.
Oh. Happy Birthday. As a freshly minted 22 year old, I can tell you it’s really not that exciting of a birthday by itself, so make it super exciting for yourself!
May 9th, 2008 at 9:14 am
I’ve been there and done that…it’s shocking the first time it happens. Now, it’s just life!
May 9th, 2008 at 10:47 am
Just wait till you meet your new gynecologist and wonder if he is old enough to even graduated college. Unfortunately, it happens. :-(
May 9th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Chanel - I guess I never thought they were “with it,” but rather, well on their way to a stable adulthood, which I can’t even see on the horizon at this point.
Erin - What’s really scary, is that most of the time, the ones pushing strollers in the mall, look about 4 years younger than me.
Great Guy - Thanks! You are a great guy!
Jim - Softball Practice/Wedding Ceremony? It could equal good blog fodder.
Danielle - Great advice.
Katrina - As long as it’s better than 21…
Eric - Shocking is a good word for it.
Diane Mandy - HA.
May 9th, 2008 at 12:53 pm
Just wait until it starts happening not just occasionally, but every time you turn around. (See above link.) And I’m only 27. Frightening.
May 9th, 2008 at 4:57 pm
I can drink Jager bombs like the rest of them