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If I were a Disney Princess
January 29, 2008
My campus has a massive bell that tolls loudly like an old grandfather clock on the hour. When I’m running late, speed walking through the pathways during the GONNNG, GONNNG, GONNNG, I wish I were wearing a huge, poufy, white and blue dress and only one slipper. Then I could run around looking anxious and concerned, one hand lifting the gown off the ground in front of me, the other against my chest in a flustered manner.
Along the running trails, deep in a nearby park, many of the bordering hills have jutting rock ledges that look down over the dirt paths. I’d like to stand on one of those in a buckskin dress, staring forward intently, the raccoons looking up in awe.
After dealing with the local dating scene, I’d like to come home one day and take a really, really long nap. Later, I’ll wake up and my future husband will just be sitting there, waiting intently to cook me breakfast.
When it’s late at night in my freaky house, and the dog is passed out from licking too much of everything, I wouldn’t mind it if the candlesticks donned a French accent and talked me through the beast that is an 8am fitness class.
I wish I could swim. And also, sing simultaneously.
Categories: Daily
January 29th, 2008 at 10:59 am
=) Did you get to see Enchanted?
January 29th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Ok, so I’ve always been nonchalant about this whole blogging thing, but I’m officially addicted now.
This is fantastic.
You’re quickly becoming one of my favorite writers.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:26 am
HA!
Love this!
January 29th, 2008 at 11:32 am
That’s so funny. I just took added and application on FaceBook that tells me which Disney Princess I am. Apparently I’m Belle. And that’s cool.
January 29th, 2008 at 12:14 pm
When I jay-walk across Bigelow in Oakland, I’d like to be made out of stop signs and be indestructible.
;)
Congrats on your Bloggies nomination!
January 29th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
You forgot Princess Jasmine… and her protective tiger, Rajah.
January 29th, 2008 at 2:00 pm
“my future husband will just be sitting there, waiting intently to cook me breakfast.”
I can’t WAIT for this…..
January 29th, 2008 at 3:23 pm
Man. Who doesn’t want to sing and swim simultaneously? I know I do.
January 29th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Hahaha. Amen. What a glorious post.
Disney Princesses always look their best when they’re doing the things at which I look my worst. Running frantically? I’m a total tragedy during this activity and there is usually some sortof humiliating fall involved.
I will say…. the last man I dated cooked me breakfast every morning and he turned out to be gay.
Lucky me.
Keep up the fantastic blogging, lady. :)
January 29th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
love ur writing simply inspiring..
:)
January 29th, 2008 at 4:41 pm
As long as I’m not surrounded by seven little men who expect me to clean their house, than I’d be a Disney princess any day of the week.
Ariel, preferably.
K.
January 29th, 2008 at 5:11 pm
Hey–Kate just stole my comment.
PS. My husband doesn’t cook breakfast, but he does bring me coffee in bed every morning–right after he gets up to take the dog our for a walk. Small gestures, ut they make me feel like a princess every day.
January 29th, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Have you seen the promos that disney is doing with famous people as the characters? Your post reminded me of it, here’s the link to some of the more recent ones.
http://www.thedisneyblog.com/tdb/2008/01/more-annie-lieb.html
January 29th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
Your future husband will be standing there when you wake up, “waiting intently to cook [you] breakfast” you say?
Who the hell’s your future husband?
What the hell kind of blog is this anyway?
January 29th, 2008 at 10:23 pm
The Hon. Rufus Peckham - Apparently one that’s way over your head?
I’ll use a bit more blatant cynicism next time.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:40 pm
Is that the WDVE morning show radio guy?!?
Ha!
Post some badly-Photoshopped politicians and subpar bikini models. And don’t use too many words. Then they’ll get it.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:43 pm
Jackass.
January 29th, 2008 at 10:49 pm
This is so beautifully fresh and original. Nicely done!
January 29th, 2008 at 10:51 pm
Jackass? I’m flattered, that coming from you. Isnt that how you make your living?
January 29th, 2008 at 10:52 pm
What’s your email address, Robert?
January 29th, 2008 at 11:01 pm
robertmeith@gmail.com
I look forward to hearing from you.
January 29th, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I’m thinking that exchange actually would have worked a lot better with the previous post…
January 29th, 2008 at 11:26 pm
Uncle Crappy - I think you’d probably be right…
January 30th, 2008 at 12:28 am
I’m about to become offended by some of this nonsense.
The fact is, Carbolic Smoke Ball doesn’t waste its precious time reading blogs it doesn’t respect. We happen to think that Rachel is an excellent writer. And contrary to my question above, we certainly know what kind of blog this is.
Rachel should be honored that the great Carbolic Smoke Ball has left its tag on her blog.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:38 am
The Hon. Rufus Peckham - It’s all in good fun. Honored I am, indeed. And flattered. I thank you.
And of course, look forward to Friday’s show.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:40 am
Whew. And here I was, sincerely worried that I’d have to stop reading The Smoke Ball.
I don’t think I was fooling anyone.
January 30th, 2008 at 2:28 am
who is this smoke ball?? guy
sorry new to this world of blogging.. but i am getting a fast addict..
January 30th, 2008 at 8:21 am
I adore my job. This is why I’m going to library school in a few months. They say that being a real librarian requires more work. We’ll see about that. I might be able to prove them wrong.
I always liked Belle. She was the nerdiest of the Disney Princesses.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:31 am
When I was little…I want to be a mermaid so freaking bad. I think I cried about it a few times.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:32 am
I love those good ol’ Disney movies!! I’m just going to have to Youtube Beauty and the Beast right now.
January 30th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
Being a Disney princess is way overrated. Shining armor needs polished, you know.
January 30th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
I think the 8 a.m. fitness class pretty much wins for worst class ever. Deep down, I think we all wish we could be a Disney princess.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
I would be a Disney princess just for the great rack alone.
January 30th, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I’d probably be Belle. Fuck Cinderella and Snow White. Those girls have issues. Belle, on the other hand, is awesome.
January 30th, 2008 at 11:17 pm
yeah an 8 am fitness class would make me cry. no doubt. at least being a princess one day of the week would be a good balance, yes?
January 30th, 2008 at 11:18 pm
I never saw the appeal in Disney Princesses, except for when they live happily ever after with their one true love (except Pocahontas). Oh, I wish I could talk to animals though!
January 31st, 2008 at 4:21 am
At Disneyland’s California Adventure you can find out which Disney character you are. When my girlfriend and I did it, I turned out to be Tarzan. Meh.
January 31st, 2008 at 8:46 am
I am the odd ball who relates most with the Disney character Mulan - I love that she is a stong woman that takes the lead in a man’s Army, although it did bug me a bit at the end when she turned down a seat as the emperor’s advisor to marry the guy who left her stranded on top of a snow covered mountain!
January 31st, 2008 at 10:04 am
Just discovered your blog. Love it. When I was at Chatham…way back in the 90s, I wanted to be a Disney Princess, too. In kind of the same ways :)
February 1st, 2008 at 7:38 pm
I’m kind of disappointed you couldn’t work the carpet ride in there somehow. My favorite one of the batch, hands down. All of the others’ princes were, hrm, kinda dumb?