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Literary narcotics
July 15, 2008
Hey, you got a minute? Neat.
I’ve been required to spend nearly 10 hours outside every day since last Saturday. This span of direct sunlight has resulted in tennis shoe tan lines so extreme that it appears as if I’m wearing bright white socks (with realistic toe artwork) while barefoot, and has fried my brain to the point that I’m beginning to consider Kirsten Dunst a capable actress.
Other consequential misfirings of a fried brain include:
Picking up your cell phone mid-workday with the intention of calling the dog
Spending more than fifteen consecutive minutes surfing MySpace
The baking of my skin will wrap up just in time for my trip to Maryland this weekend, where I’m sure it’s a lot cooler. Upon my return to Pittsburgh, I’ll be leaving immediately for Las Vegas, where I’m sure there’s a lot less light.
I’ve never been so far behind on my blog reading, which is acceptable in this situation, as I’ll have plenty to look at as I writhe in horror at the airport before my plane takes off. Seems like a sufficient solution to self-medication. Thanks.
Categories: Daily
July 16th, 2008 at 8:23 am
Mmmmm…fried brain.
Damnit - I promised myself no zombie jokes today.
July 16th, 2008 at 8:41 am
I need to be heavily medicated to get onto a plane. It’s actually easiest if I take an excessive amount of Tylenol Sleep and someone carries me onto the plane.
But I found out the hard way that the people at the gate, don’t really approve of that method.
July 16th, 2008 at 9:21 am
Kirsten Dunst? Don’t even go there. Stay outta the sun!
July 16th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Oh, you’re going to Maryland? I’m so sorry, honey. *patpatpat*
Seriously, I hope you’re staying hydrated and covered in sunblock. And get out of the sun sometimes, no matter what Nazi is forcing you to stay out there. There’s no harm in playing hooky for a day and hiding under the covers like a vampire.
July 16th, 2008 at 11:48 am
I want pics of the shoe tan lines.
July 16th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
Vegas!!!! Yeeeee. Maryland - meh. Just kidding, have fun.
July 16th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Busy is good! Stay safe!
July 16th, 2008 at 3:32 pm
Tan lines are cool even if they aren’t stylish!
July 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
nar - Narm? Is that you? Or your evil zombie twin?
Beth - I like that method, especially when substituting Dramamine.
sass - I know, right?
Robin G. - All the sunscreen in the world couldn’t prevent the snake-like skin shedding I’m currently experiencing.
Chris - No you don’t.
Lindz - On the plus side, I don’t need to take a plane to Maryland.
Jennie and Eric - Thanks!
July 16th, 2008 at 5:09 pm
Taking the world by storm, miss?
July 16th, 2008 at 8:48 pm
Actually, I think there is more light in Las Vegas…
July 16th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
You could always call the dog and leave a message..
July 16th, 2008 at 9:32 pm
Ray - Slowly.
Arielle - You’re probably right.
Stephanie - Yes, but only if there is a phone at home on which to leave one.
July 17th, 2008 at 11:35 am
i’d love to visit maryland sometime soon….
not a typical vacation spot but i’ll probably be moving there in a year.
July 19th, 2008 at 9:08 pm
I see nothing wrong with calling your dog, how else do you check to see if you left the stove on?