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Pittsburgh’s finest
April 23, 2007
Overheard at a fancy restaurant:
Obnoxious old woman: “My son bought me this yippy little dog, and every time I come home, the animal runs up to me and just expects me to reach down and pet it. Like I’ve got nothing better to do when I walk in.”
In a brochure for a local technical institute:
“Continue your education beyond high school! Plenty of job openings is becoming available!”
Walking Downtown:
Girl 1: “I just got a new computer.”
Girl 2: “That’s cool.”
Girl 1: “Yeah. I love Apple.”
Girl 2: “You love apple? Like, the fruit? It’s apples, retard.”
Girl 1: “I’m talking about my Mac.”
Girl 2: “Like, the makeup?”
Molly, in a 6:00am voicemail:
“I just dreamed I was the frickin’ Queen of Azerbaijan!”
April 23rd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
If anyone bought me a dog ever I would probably stop speaking to them. Dogs scare the —- out of me.