wherefore you’ll be able to avoid future douchey English majors

Quick language lesson.

A brief sampling of Twitter:

“Wherefore” does not mean “where.” It means “why.”

Yes, Juliet did say, “Wherefore art thou Romeo.” The balcony scene you’re vaguely remembering from your 9th grade lit class is actually a soliloquy. In that moment, Juliet is not calling out for her boo’s location. She’s just realized he is, oh noes!, Romeo Montague, and is literally exclaiming why, oh God, why.