A Hobo Thanksgiving
Maxwell burped and declared the dinner done
While stuffing his stomach with stuffing was fun,
He felt that he might burst at the sound of a gun
Looking to his left, and then to his right,
His comrades were all out like a light
Filled to the brim with turkey and moonshine,
Betty, Mac and Jim were done being a swine
But no one was close to reaching the door
All they could do was sleep on the floor
Before they could leave they had to devour some pie
Pie that was sent to them from Eric the Spy
Eric was a spy living in the world of sweets
He learned how to make pies, and even how to make quiche
The pie sat on the table with a menacing grin
Maxwell would have to eat the pie himself, for the win.
The pie in front of him was filled with cherries, pumpkin and spices
It was so large it could be cut into 15 slices
Yet, Maxwell was alone on his quest
Luckily, he was wearing his pie eating vest
Maxwell grabbed the fork of his father
Or was it something he stole from his brother?
Regardless, Maxwell took a few bites of the pie concoction
For a moment he thought about putting this pie up for auction
But he could not forsake his turkey day tradition
Though, eating with a full stomach was not optimal conditions.
He chewed slowly, lacking conviction
Boy did he wish this was all just fiction
He felt sleep creep upon him
Him finishing the feast was looking quite grim.
Forkful upon forkful he put down his throat
He was trying so hard he almost did choke
Finally, his fork fell out of his hand
This was not part of his Thanksgiving day plan
He reached his limit and was about to burst
Soon he would be heading to the toilet headfirst
The fork fell to the table with a bang
And Maxwell, with shame, his head did hang
For the first Thanksgiving in his lifetime
He failed to finish his pie and to him, this was a crime
Tears ran down Maxwell’s face
As he knew he would be a disgrace
But as he turned to go to the bathroom
His thanksgiving legacy was doomed
But then, Mac began to awake
Maxwell thought it was fake, and thus, did a double take
Mac had a second wind inside of his soul
He was kind of hungry, and could probably eat a troll
He grabbed Maxwell by his scarf and said to his face
“You better get eating. Or you’ll be a disgrace”
And thus, Mac, collapsed like a stump
And Maxwell took a deep breath and decided to prove he was not a schmup
He grabbed his fork with renewed vigor
And took a bite out of the pie equivalent of a tiger
The pumpkin, cherry and spices mixed in his belly
Soon, his arms felt like jelly
Maxwell’s hobo heart skipped some beats
And then his stomach accepted defeat
His body reached a limit it did not know
And for that, he began to stare at the ground below
His world grew as dark as an alley
And he collapsed to the table as a finale
Along the table the four hobos slept
Content and happy no one wept
They tried their best to eat all the food
But seriously, they’re only dudes
Let this be a lesson to you thanksgiving feasters
If you try to eat too much you’ll collapse on your keaster
There’s no shame in having leftovers
You can pass them out to all the people that ride land rovers
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