Breakfast of Monte Cristo
Who’s god damn idea was it to create the Monte Cristo sandwich? It’s a vile creation that even the most obese would think twice about eating. Basically, some mad man read “The Count of Monte Cristo” then probably beat his wife then screamed at until he a) was coughing up blood or b) she made him a sandwich that would satisfy his urge to die.
So the lady, fearing for her life, started cooking like a lady who’s life depended on it. She got some ham, some eggs, some turkey, some bacon, and made some French toast for good measure. Oh wait, she then decided to deep fry the French toast then sandwich the other materials in the middle. Holy. Hell.
I’m not sure if you’ve ever had one before. I’ve made it 22 years of my life and have only seen it eaten once (by Pat no less). But to be honest, part of the allure is that this sandwich sounds reasonable on paper. Like a door to door salesman who is selling covers for your steps. It sounds genius, but let’s be honest with ourselves, no one is going to enjoy that.
This sandwich was brought to me covered in powdered sugar and fried stuff. I was kind of excited at first since it seemed like the king of breakfast sandwiches but then I took I bite and was very confused. My taste buds thought they were at some trashy carnival. It was like eating funnel cake covered in eggs, syrup, and ham. Like, why.
It’s safe to say I’m going to continue hating on this sandwich for a while. Breakfast is suppose to be a delicate meal, not something unrefined carnival folk would make for their illegitimate elephant calves.
Comments
3 Responses to “Breakfast of Monte Cristo”
Leave a Reply
you said you liked it…
Wow. That’s a whole lot of sandwich. That meshing of flavors is why I could never get on board with those McGriddles…something about a pancake with syrup pockets sandwiching an egg and bacon didn’t seem right.
Anything with bacon is worth a try … and a heart attack. But yeah, I prefer my bacon squeezed between buttery biscuits. Slurp. This post makes me hungry … of bacon.