Welcome to the Joke Carnival
So as I sit here at the local Panera eating cream cheese from the small Panera container with the aid of a knife (delicious) I can’t help but wonder what to do with all of the jokes I’ve created. The joke industry is always growing and I want to hop on that hot air balloon before it gets just out of my reach. I wake up in the morning, look at a pair of black dirty socks and a joke flashes in my mind. It’s ridiculous how gifted I am. I can view things with my eyes and, much like a crappy pacifistic version of a terminator, create a joke from almost nothing. I have a few here from my showcase that I want to get out in the open. You know, start building my rep as some sick ass joke slinger who walks into a joke saloon, spits into a joke spittoon, eats a hand full of fortune cookies (without harming the fortunes at all), and tells a joke so good that the entire establishment buys me a drink then helps tie my horse up outside.
What is the loneliest cheese in all the land?
ProvALONE!
What did the boy’s mother say to him after he peed all over the new oriental rug that they just won from an auction that featured other fine pieces of furniture like Genghis Khan’s helmet, a feudal peon, and samurai armor made from weasel hide?
UR-INE trouble!
What is the funniest bite?
A GIGGLEbyte
How about the scariest bite?
A TERRORbyte!
And finally (courtesy of my sister) what do yams wear to bed?
Their Yammies!!
Oh crimeny. I have cramps from laughing so hard.
Bad news. Pat rang me from Florida to tell me that he was indeed called back for a second audition for Ugly Freddy, but failed to progress. He did not explain too much of what happened since he soaked his phone in tears and I think it short-circuited.